Every day, I can point out my energy level somewhere on this spectrum: a sloth. an onlooker. a pedestrian. a commuter, a driver, a multipotentialite. a polymath, a space cowboy wrangling a rocket while shooting off fireworks, or an unquestionably zen master of the multiverse. I’ve got range.
When I’m in my go-getter cowboy mode as a productive-producer-type, seen answering questions and giving directions while juggling, spinning plates and making a sandwich, some folks look at me and think, man that dude just gets things done. And he helps others get things done. He’s got so many interests, runs a packed schedule, hangs with people from all walks of life. Ugh, what an organized overachiever. He’s just ON, all-systems-go, all day everyday.
Nope. Not every day. Not all day on any day.
I promise, I’m very human. And I’m not even always that good at that. Really, the big energy happens in spurts. Sprints up the ladders. Tripping over my laces. Slides down the chutes. This issue is evidence: I got too ambitious with the new design, so this newsletter’s being published way later than I wanted today.
Some weeks pull me wildly, like a puppy on the leash. Other weeks hang back, and I’m the one pushing through the fog. On some sunny days I’m all-in, smashing walls, hooting as I forward-roll, jumping over a turtle as I grab gold coins in midair. Other days the clouds gather, the colors desaturate and I slowly melt, completely surrendering to zoning… out… you know, vegging…out… sinking.. down.. into a couch…zzz….
hm? oh what. wait, where am I.
I often think of my ups and downs as ‘seasons’. Over the years I’ve worked hard to notice my short and long term patterns. I try to regulate my moods, actively manage my diagnosed ADHD, and consciously decide what I’m doing, where I’m going, when I’m showing up. Over the long haul, I aim for consistency, reapplying conscious choice, continued effort, intentional direction. And the more it matters how I show up for others in my life, the more motivated I am to continue this kind of work.
I’ve definitely felt completely stuck in the rut. Mentally paralyzed, physically exhausted, cross-eyed, depleted, deflated, flat out burnt-out. I usually feel it in my jaw, my throat and my shoulders. I’ll feel muted, tight, resentful. Sometimes my head even feels detached from my body, like a balloon floating out there, barely hitched to its ride.
Does any of this feel familiar to you? Where do you feel it? Your body can usually tell you but when you’re in this state you might need to remind yourself to check back in with it. A deep breath or few is often a good way to start. Physical activity can be helpful. Dance - get back in the body, anchor that balloonhead, keep the blood pumping.
How do you usually squirm out of a passive state? How do you trick your brain into getting over it all? Worth noting for yourself, all these patterns, even give them little pet names, because they do repeat, and it's good to have your go-bag ready once you can start noticing their approach.
Now lift up to the 30,000-foot view. Look over the edge, find your trajectory below on the terrain. If you’re frozen, or even just staying the course, every day can start to look the same. You could be in the wrong job, on the wrong path, or on the wrong bus - the wrong version of the right mission.
I would recommend reminding yourself that it isn't just “fate”. It likely started off as something you created, unwittingly or not. That sentence might be hard to read. Recognizing our own culpability is important, because if you take ownership of your choices, you can increase the strength of your steering.
I always need to pause for a disclaimer when I see myself type that kind of paragraph. I am not preaching that all external circumstances are within your control, you don’t have a game controller for your avatar, and I don’t advocate a “just pull-yourself-up by your bootstraps, damnit” kind of philosophy. I am a realist, and I do have a deep empathy, almost to a fault, for those who have been dealt a crappy hand and are just trying to survive the game.
Further, it feels like this ‘game’ has recently transformed into a multi-tentacled kraken: many who have been navigating a historically patriarchal, racist and unjust system now have to also avoid the tumbling pillars of corrupted institutions, the privacy-invading big tech manipulations, the dream-crushing effects of late-stage capitalism, the out of control inflation, the recurring natural disasters, and larger geopolitical threats, conflicts, wars. Not to mention the recent proliferation of grifters, propagandists, outlandish opportunists and cartoon villains. What a time to be alive!
Disclaimer on disclaimer: reminding you - and me - that this is a newsletter about seeking and finding clarity in our creative careers. Ok, big exhale. Onward.
By staying neutral you’re likely letting external forces decide for you. Watching the days slide by, is fine, at times. Just know that passivity can quickly compound - so much so that you really can end up in deeper despair than you ever intended.
I just had a helpful video come across my feed yesterday, calling all that a habit. By not choosing the more challenging routes, you’re still making a choice, each and every day, or even hour to hour. Depending on how you feel about it, you might see this as a toxic habit. Or it might be motivating to choose to see it this way.
Almost everything written about being in the wrong role, wrong company, wrong version of your career, treats the cost as personal. You're the one short on sleep. You're the one who forgot to eat lunch. You’re the one performing the bare minimum to avoid attention. You're the one who knows when the meeting could have gone better and didn't, that you had more in you and didn't spend it. All of that is real, but it isn’t the full cost.
Across three decades in advertising, entertainment and post-production, I’ve frequently been the connective tissue holding a fragile system together. From that vantage point, you start to notice that everyone around you does better work when you're truly present and engaged, and they perform worse when you’re checked-out, or just clocking hours.
I've watched the same pattern from both sides of the table. When someone in a senior role is misplaced and just coasting through, it doesn’t just affect their own job satisfaction. The results show up in the work itself. Their teammate has the burden of picking up the slack. The junior never gets the fifteen minutes of mentorship they really could have used. We all see it in the unfocused brief, the slapped-together deck, the last-minute, phoned-in production. The effects keep rippling outward - everyone this person is supposed to serve gets a lesser version of the service they deserve.
This is a point that most ‘self-improvement’ gurus often skip. A habit of staying stagnant isn't just a private transaction between you and your own morale. Every hour you spend performing minimum-viable effort in the wrong direction is an hour you’re depriving the person, project, or team that needs it most. Someone somewhere quietly absorbs the cost of your misdirection. This notion raises the stakes - redirecting yourself isn’t just for you.
"Am I unhappy here?" is a question you can rationalize your way around for years. I’ve done it. You carry a dog-eared script around, quick excuses at the ready - the money's good, the hours aren't that bad, they’ll feed me dinner if I’m staying late, heck sometimes it’s sushi - plenty of people have it so much worse. We all become quite skilled at absorbing our own discomfort and moving the goalposts.
"Who isn't getting my best work right now? What would it mean if they did?"
These are the harder questions to wrestle. They rack the focus from your own discomfort, which you've gotten so good at tolerating, to the ripple effects of your complacency.
And by the way, since this is, as mentioned, a newsletter about creative careers - this question especially applies to art and creative productivity as well. Who isn’t getting your insights? Who aren’t you inspiring? Who is missing out on your moving, life-affirming or even life-changing creations, while you while away the hours, waiting for your will to wake?
We should be less interested in our own dissatisfaction than we are in the costs of our hesitation. Are you the bystander, or are you the multipotentialite?
Who gets the discounted version of you, and what would change for them if they got the real deal instead?
Be Courageous: reply to me now so you can see yourself type the answers. I read all your messages.
Onward,
Kevin
Founder, THE COURAGEOUS
PS, If you’re at all inspired by this newsletter, please help spread the word - think of someone in your life who might get something out of it and urge them to sign up! Thank you!
PPS. Sorry for my delay today getting this to you. Reply and let me know what you think of this design & layout, and feel free to let me know what part of the day you prefer to read this. Thanks again!